I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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