i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
