i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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