To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
