Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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