You smell like a Billy Joel song
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
