I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
