just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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