DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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