I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
