adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
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He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
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I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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