did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
