I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
