hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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