Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
