I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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