Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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