Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just high enough for therapy.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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