I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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