i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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