Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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