Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
