lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
