Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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