I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
