we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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