she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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