so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
