the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Nicole vs. Life
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
