it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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