Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
