She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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