so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
