I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
