My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
