Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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