No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I got inside last night via doggy door
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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