kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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