In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
