Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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