So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
