i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
