This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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