it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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