I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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