and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
