the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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