I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
