it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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