What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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