Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
