So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
