Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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