The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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