so explain again why im purple
no
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
