I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sext me about skeletons
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
