Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
