Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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