i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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